Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Just Begin

Today I bought a dress for our black tie event this weekend and buzzed around town shopping.  This week feels like a true doctor's wife week.  Mike had a media interview today and was quoted for an international press release, has community teaching tomorrow, a farewell party for colleague and fundraiser this weekend.  I'm going through lists of outfits and social graces necessary for both of us to attend everything with excellence and intentionally prioritize our precious family time in between. The mornings of bustling for an hour before school never lend themselves to visions that I would be sitting around a table the said evening, smiling like life is always a black-tie affair.

So, this happened last Friday:  The kids and I both work up late, I ended up losing my cool in a far-less-than-beautiful way, and Mike walked in from the gym around 6:40am to an awesome family explosion.  Great.  Have a great day and go stick your tools in some hearts without worrying about my emotional antics, sweetie!  I'm fine!  Really.  Totally.  Grrr.

Did you ever ask someone a question, and the amount of delay in which they respond to you is evidence that the response had to weave itself through thick matter to get out of their mouth to your ears? This is how that Friday went, like sticking your hand deep in a jumbled bag of knickknacks just to pull out out some prized diamond at the bottom.  That's the illusion I had of going from Friday morning at 6:40 to Friday evening at 6:40.  Feeling like: there is no way on God's green earth that I would look - or feel- put-together sitting around a table with his colleagues and their spouses.   Well, it happened.  We entered the cocktail hour around 6:40 that evening, looking dapper and sipping our drinks. All smiles around the table and, really, good company with some totally normal people.

So my advice to myself was to "just begin." There was a blank canvas in front of me, or a jumbled purse, and I should just begin. Forget any condemnation of not planning or mapping out the most efficient route for errands, that will come. But rather than overthinking anything: Get hair done. Get outfits purchased and pressed.  Do makeup.  Sit and take some time to breathe. Pray for Mike and the end of his day, his final patient interactions before the weekend, for healing for his patients. Put the babysitter in charge of dinner and give her full reign to put a movie on and make it a fun night for the kids, it is Friday after all!  I hug and kiss the kiddies, smooch them with lip gloss, find my good purse, forget wallet, and go!   Resisting facebook on the way to the event.  Take time to connect with him.  The double week is over.  The call weekend is over. This kicks off our four day weekend.  Just begin.

And we began.  We had a chilly and heartwarming ride over to the country club in the '99 Honda Accord.  We connected with parents in our kid's piano studio and families that live right near us.  Finally, the night was a diamond in the sludge of our busy schedules and a time to really connect with others.  The wives did not talk about glamour, vacations, and shopping, we talked about the disgusting finds in the back of our mini-vans.  I still think that the plastic snake tongue in the seat-belt buckle takes the cake, credit to our mini-van! I guess we talked about vacations a little bit, but not to an obsessive level that one may think.  :-) As we all departed ways, we all got home and paid our babysitters and headed back into casual life: real life, all with blank canvases ahead of us.

Where will you begin?