Inspired by my father-in-law, I decided to rekindle the habit of reading a proverb a day. There was a really tough day for me two fridays ago, and I was wrestling with thoughts of doubt and fear, and kind of a "why do I need all this help?" ('All this' meaning, a nanny, a housekeeper, had to spend several weeks at my parents the last few months, having a BYOP (p is for party) for my son's dedication.) It's not that I have to much pride to need help, but it is tempting to think that if I DO need all this help, why am I even here? This is a debilitating thought, especially if left to ponder, and will formulate into a not-great day, at least.
I needed to go this specific thought-trial to really understand the logic behind "For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds; Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:4-5
I have a very vivid imagination.
At one point, I directed a few high school musicals that made my imagination come to life. Of course, I had a great infrastructure to work within (the script), and lots of people doing an exceptional job in other areas. I loved the questions, because I always had 10 different answers and it was my job to sift through, give one or two answers, and continue on with the very broad vision. Letting go a little and sticking to a lot while keeping the main vision in mind throughout. It is tricky to maximize other people's creativity and produce a magical event, which I truly believe the shows were.
Now the script was sacred, it was not allowed to be moved, and actually functioned as a source of comfort when I had to reference it. The script is so much of a legal document, that we could not even have Chip in "Disney's Beauty and the Beast" say "girl" because in the script it said "boy." That's it. Fact. Done. The actress can be a girl but she has to pretend she is a boy and stick to the script as if she were a boy.
So, if I let one stray thought loose, it avalanches for me into a big problem. An imaginary world that I created in my mind, based on my not-truth thought. Which was the case two Fridays ago. I let a few thoughts go, realized that some issues I thought that they just didn't bother me or thought that I was holding them captive to my Script, I was really just suppressing them - that day, they all flooded forward.
I am so grateful for the re-direction to the Word, my Script, my Truth. As I read "...for by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory." It was a comforting infrastructure of a truth that I can rest in. That's it. Fact. Done. When one has a trial and time of adversity, they can overcome with a lot of help.
I now know that there is no need for me to let my imagination get away from the Script. I am also sure that this will become harder and harder as I get more comfortable with the Truths in the Script and imprint them on my heart. The sin I deal with will become more detail-oriented and motive-oriented. My big mantra with the kids performing in the musical was: "I want you to know this script so well that every night you can do something fresh and new, and make it even more magical." The refinement of their details in performance were improving with each rehearsal, and then more detailed with each performance. They started to see the show on a deeper level at each step of the learning process. The final night, the new detail of the actor that played Horton the Elephant (in Seussical the Musical) thought of was bringing in a bag of peanuts for the stage crew to throw at him when he was sold into the circus.
Come on people, let's pray that we can find tiny sin hiding on a peanut-throwing level. Such a tiny tiny detail.
By wisdom a house is built,
and by understanding it is established;
by knowledge the rooms are filled
with all precious and pleasant riches.
A wise man is full of strength,
and a man of knowledge enhances his might,
for by wise guidance you can wage your war,
and in abundance of counselors there is victory.
Proverbs 24: 3-6