My Mom's Here

Twas 10 days before Christmas and all through the house not a child was peeping, we already caught our one mouse. The stockings are hung and the fourth is being made As I sat on the couch, the mail, I needed to read. The children are playing all quiet and calm,  Now I can get some things on my "to do" list done. When I peeked at the kitchen and what do I see Mac and cheese being made by someone who's three. The flour was out, and so was the mac,  in a pot, in the oven of play, there it sat.   Then our bowls were prepped,  Naomi's, David's and mine.  "Delicious," I said as I muddled over this one.  I will not rebuke, I'm making today lots of fun,  "So yummy, and crunchy, and mmm...yum. yum." We went to the toy store, the train store, out for lunch Mailed our cards, to the cleaners, and got into the holiday crunch. With fake cheese on the breast of the stove and the floor, We pulled out the vacuum and cleaned up a little more. There...

I rarely sit alone and eat lunch.  Generally, lunch is a bustling table between clementine loving and amiable David, and talkative and inquisitive Naomi.  But on Monday, I had two wonderful helpers with me all day.  Two of my music students, were having a picnic during our indian summer afternoon with the kids on the lawn, and I was having a quiet lunch.  Sitting and eating lunch alone, however rare it is, usually leads me to either set myself up in front of the computer, put my cell phone nearby, or have a magazine, agenda, or book at hand.  But I sat at the head of our dining room table.  Bookcases to my back, and kitchen to my front, windows to my right and a piano to my left.  I never sit here. The morning of this quiet lunch, I was jolted awake with a looming comment that Mike had casually stated when talking to friends about the job search, "I wish I had more interviews." Somehow this statement nudged me swiftly from a deep sleep to being wide...

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4 Oh dear!  That is frightening and exciting all at the same time.  Is there an in between?  Between Naomi posing as a Pink Pirate Princess for halloween fun, getting ready to dress up as Princess Aurora for Evie's "Princess and the Pop Star" birthday movie in a "Carriage," and my infatuation with Disney World and all the princesses therein, I am am inundated with the idea of a crown. What really is a crown?  My friend Anita and I were discussing it a while back.  It denotes position, it sparkles, it is polished and kept in a safe spot when not being worn, it stands tall and poised, shows authority, reveals someone in a position of trust, leadership, and regality.  Without a crown, someone could be walking by, and you would never know their bloodline or stature.  They immediately become average-joe-like and once the crown is r...

This month was interesting in particular. I attempted all kinds of things like over-scheduling, scheduling (which if you know me is quite progress), nagging, bragging, baking, eating on-the-fly, and cleaning (even more progress). The last which is really out of my comfort zone. Well, I like to be quite comfortable and not get up and clean and generally spend more time thinking about how I'm going to schedule my cleaning, read blogs about cleaning, or dream up a way I'm going to clean which completely tires me out and keeps me from cleaning even more so. These ideas mind me of back in January, when I couldn't get up and clean, and I watched my friend efficiently and thoroughly clean my house. I had never been forced to sit and watch something like this, but I learned a great deal. When I saw the large amount of dirt, dust, and grime that was behind furniture and under beds, I was sure if I ever got better, I had no clue how to run a household and had to learn fast. I...

Our soil is saturated. We have had many days of rain and then we had a hurricane . . . and then it continued to rain this past week. As I ran the last few bottles out to our recycling curb Friday morning, I noticed the overgrown weeds trying to choke our pole bean plants and scallions, and how everything, including the soil, was soaked. Realizing that one child was having a nap and the other was busy with crafting, I took a few minutes to start rescuing my scallions and beans. I was pretty impressed with how quickly and easily the weeds pulled out of the saturated ground. Just a few tugs and pulls and I had a pile of dead weeds and a clean looking garden in minutes. Except for this tree-like vine. Hmm..that wouldn't come out so easily. Those weedy roots hold on so dearly to their soil when the ground is under-saturated. They must get a little foothold, and continue to grow, plowing through the soil to the next spot they can get a foothold. I usually dislike pulling the ...

Officially home: A blank canvas of a day. Of a week. Of a month. Temptations of idle time always loom, but in the end those wasted minutes and hours come back to haunt in piles and a full sink. 'Idle time' for me is randomly surfing online, having 7 or so tabs open with 3 different search topics, a few virtual shopping carts, and an afternoon power-nap turning into a 2 hour deep sleep. It could also be as simple as 'not planning.' I can now see the days in weeks, which has really helped me. One day for cleaning, one or two or five for shopping, one for laundry, hoping to get it all done in the M-F so the S & S is for family days, and not executing neglected chores. But shopping in one day is not necessarily practical with 2 little helpers - I guess it could be if I didn't mind spending time reading labels to be sure there are no food colorings, excess salt, or too many ingredients I can't pronounce because I'm locked into a huge labyrinth of a ...

[Charlotte is looking for a new message to write in her web] Lamb: How about "Pig Supreme"? Charlotte: No good. It sounds like a rich dessert. [Templeton walks past with an apple core towards the trough, and Charlotte glares at Templeton] Goose: How about terrific, terrific, terrific? Charlotte: Cut that down to one terrific and it will do nicely. I think terrific might impress Zuckerman. Wilbur: But Charlotte, I'm not terrific. Charlotte: You're terrific as far as I am concerned. [Templeton, while holding a piece of orange in his mouth, smacks Wilbur's face with his tail and walks off to the trough] Charlotte: [after glaring at Templeton] Does anybody know how to spell it? Goose: I think it's T double-E double-R double-R double-I double-F double-I double C, C, C! Well, thank you E.B. White for making "terrific" so memorable for me. Yesterday I had an appointment with my neurologist and his med student, and not one terrific was left out...

Once a month, our community group leader (small group leader) coordinates a book review. I was happy to present a few books this past Saturday which helped me throughout my illness. These books really helped keep my mind in check. I thought I'd share the handout with you, since I shared it with the ladies in our community group. When your mind fails you, fill it up with encouragement. * Book to Review: Psalms A Path Through Suffering Elliot B eside Still Waters Spurgeon Battling Unbelief Piper I am so grateful to share with you today. I went through many phases and emotions, and carried a much lighter burden than one would expect from first glance of my circumstances. God has met me at every turn in my relationship with Him. God has met us in our marriage at every turn. God will meet you at every turn in every time, precisely where you are. Psalms Reasons & Practice • I ran to Psalms every morning. • David and I have a lot in common. I thought th...

This week is definitely a testimony and a test of my endurance. For example, the morning started off with me teaching 90 kids a brief dance choreographed to "Green Eggs and Ham" from 'Seussical, The Musical,' in 10 minutes for their physical warm-up. It wouldn't have been so strenuous if I had someone else do the dance while I explained it. But, hopping on one foot while kicking three times in the air, where you literally punch the air with your foot at a 45 degree angle was the first three counts, and the last 5 counts were curling up into a ball then springing open into the formation of an X. Well, that could have been the end of my day right there, but it kept going. All for the better. We are in the middle of "Covenant Kid's Choir Camp" at our church, and I'm having a blast. I basically leave the camp each day hoping they'll let me come back and teach again the next day. At my former job, they never gave me free reign of the micro...

I'm forcing myself to write, because I have been thinking about blogging daily for weeks. The house is quiet and Mike is moonlighting tonight. I am physically putting down Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother before I turn into her, and consciously neglecting: Cinderella Ate my Daughter, Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, The Power of a Whisper, Einstein Never Used Flashcards, Little Women, 90 days of God's Goodness, Healthy Sleep Habits - Happy Child , all the organizing and home management blogs, and a plethora of household items that I could probably do about now. I'm thinking of my little sister who is having a piano recital tonight for her students at my parents' house. When I was 18 and held bi-annual recitals for my students until I was 25, when we moved to Pennsylvania. I loved it. The recital was a small goal throughout students' training, that the kids and parents could see and aspire to. What they could not see was what kind of learning and littl...

As far as my physical condition goes, I am doing really well. This is my second week without a nanny helping me, and I am able to care for the children. This is the first stretch of time without outside help coming in since November! We started to have people help with childcare since Thanksgiving weekend last year, just to put it into perspective. It is very easy not to seek wisdom or peace from God when things are going well, so the path gets increasingly more narrow. Here is part of a proverb that speaks well to it. Both in the context of riches as in money and as in a fully functioning healthy body. 7 Two things I ask of you, LORD; do not refuse me before I die: 8 Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. 9 Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the LORD?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God. Proverb 30: 7-9 Are we really desiri...

I had some mysterious stains on a few bibs and dish towels. The first bib where I found these mysterious stains, I put straight bleach on, and then let it sit until I was ready to do a white load, and the bleach proceeded to eat holes in the fabric. Luckily, the lettering stayed in tact to say, "my daddy's a cardiologist." But now I feel bad every time I put the bib on David, because it has holes in it. I can't bring myself to throw it out, unless maybe I replace it one day. If we wear it out of the house now, it might as well say, "my daddy's a cardiologist and my mommy can't wash my laundry." Let's not do that again. So I tried again with some more bibs and dishtowels. I put them in a bucket of water, with some bleach added. (The stains were not that mysterious, they were moldy stains.) Grown from neglect and moisture, buried in either a bag, the bottom of the stroller, the car, or the bottom of a hamper. My first bib goes into the...

10 mg Prednisone 15 mg Mestinon 60 mg every 3 hours states the Mestinon bottle instructions. 2 days of a Nanny this week 2 sleeping children 1 husband going through 20 journals of medicine. 5 pre-schools visited 1 pre-school chosen 3 year old, "Mommy, just drop me off." 2 days a week and they don't teach numbers. 24lb 8oz baby boy 29 inches long baby boy 9 months old and healthy 31 years for me 30 for the hubby (well, almost 31) 90 years for Grandpa Cubby 8am appointment with the surgeon on Friday How many gifts do I want to give him? Like a million.

Again, another scenario well assessed by Mike. My adrenaline must have been overshadowing practicality. It was actually very remarkable how well I did last week, considering everything I did. I found a few limits. I didn't realize how much of a system shock it would be to start taking less prednisone. I am very gradually weaning off, but with the miraculous onslaught of "the weaning," I thought it was a green card to be super mom. So I threw in a trip to the park every day, plus a walk around the block, I didn't have a babysitter more than one day, and that was the day I ran 7 errands. I gave up half of my naps this past week, got Naomi and I to the dentist, made it to the home-school a cappella class that my friend so graciously took over the teaching of, and then made it to the weekend packed with a baby shower, garage organization, church, and capped it off with having friends over last night to play games. Okay, this was a lot. Now I see it. I guess I to...

Well, a miraculous report from my neurologist yesterday brings lots of things together. I am calling it miraculous because I was not expected to back off of medication for at least several months after the thymectomy, and have already started backing off today. Well, he was actually excited. I told him I was glad he was excited, and that I was so glad I was checking out well. At the end of the visit he said, in a professionally composed way - "it takes a lot to get me excited. This is good. This is very good." The visit went something like this: -tapped my reflexes with a mallet from his classic leather doctor bag "Okay, pull my arm, push my arm. This is good. This is very good." "Squint your eyes. This is good. You don't know why this is good, but this is very good." (Almost baffled and smiling in amazement) "Follow this light with your eyes. Good. This is very good." "Good, Good. This is very good." - jots down som...

Have you witnessed from above the clouds, the perfectly organically shaped river carving through the earth? The valleys and streams, so well marked and painted, towering below you, and puffy lightness dressed in pure white, occasionally clouding your view? Chiseled, I would say. The same word a close friend used while staring into our newborn daughters face. Chiseled. You can't fake greatness. Height and depth of knowledge, unclouded skill. Experience chiseled procedures, down to an art and a science. Mike and I arrived at the hospital, all ready to go for my Thymectomy. It almost felt like we should be stopping at Dunkin' Donuts for an iced coffee, because it was so nice to be together in the morning, and that's our 'going-on-an-excursion' routine. But I was good and fasted since Midnight. I dozed off slightly in the admission waiting room, and was awake again until I remember a cute little resident guy putting a gas mask on me, telling me it was oxyg...

Today is our 7 year wedding anniversary. When restaurant.com did not show any promising dinner solutions, we headed for the pre fixe menu at our very own Sycamore. For us, Sycamore feels as if you are in the city, with a top chef and city atmosphere, without the drive in and parking fees. Mike and I had an exceptional time together reminiscing over our last 7 years, the milestones and great moments. The hard ones that clearly "grew" us closer together, small trials that we thought were huge, and somehow we both had a black hole in both of our minds between years 2-5, which was definitely his residency. So I was in a baking mood this afternoon, and threw together two of our favorite cookies, peanut butter cup and double chocolate chip. Nothing quite goes by without an analogy in my mind, so as I was pouring the cocoa powder into the mix master bowl, a seemingly turbulent environment, the cookie dough developed into a richer, creamier, deeper color. The pale sweetness of ...

Once again, my silly worry didn't matter. Anxiety did not bear fruit. Energy used on churning thoughts of "what ifs" and "whys" was not fruitful. The appointment yesterday went very well, which I am very grateful for. I have had several specific encouragements this week, which I am very grateful for. (Thank you, if you were one of them!) One friend said, "just sit and know that you are in His hands." What a perfect picture of stillness and resting in an anxiety free space. I really held dear to those churning thoughts of worry this week. It's not like when you are in the middle of a worry wheel, you just realize it and jump out. Like a hamster in a wheel, in a cage. It's as if you are holding on to the wheel, and saying, "No, leave me alone in my worry wheel, I'm comfortable here, go your own path. I think I'm gaining control." Yeah, well, the cage hasn't moved but you were moving. Your scene has not changed,...