My Mom's Here

Naomi has her first mild illness. A cold. Teething. Runny nose. Virus. It is difficult for me to hear her crying and know there is not much I can do to cure her. I can cuddle her, offer Tylenol and Orajel , but not until the virus has run its course will she truly be back to normal. This must be a reflection of how God sees me in my sin. He gives me signs and opportunities to shed the sin off but until my spirit is willing and my body is strong enough I don't truly commit to leaving the burdensome sin. It amazes me how the sin that I think I love leaves behind a calm spirit after I rid myself of it. It must hurt God to see His child suffer when He already paid the price for my burdens.

I can see the frustration settle into my 7 month old daughter's head trickling through tears and her whole self when she cannot pull some sort of large object into her mouth to test it out. I can see the frustration settle into my husband's head trickling through clenched jaw and empty stare and his whole self when he gets an answer wrong. This could be answers to tiny questions, such as, "was it right to play the queen of diamonds in the card game last night?" all the way over to life saving questions he experiences on a daily basis as a cardiology fellow. I am so not a doctor. Success to me does not equal winning or getting things right. I play games for fun, happen to be very good at games with trump thanks to my Uncle Billy's teachings, and would rather loose than win b/c if my husband, the doctor, looses, he gets upset. His dad said that that is competitiveness. I think it is only one reaction to competitive situation and only one form of evidence of competit...

I was contemplating how Naomi will be when she is in that resistant-to-parents teenage phase, which nowadays is happening in tweens, so by the time culture catches up with itself, she'll be 7 when this all explodes, but I won't change my title yet. What are some practical practices that we could implement, which at the time she may dislike us for doing them, but when she is married and has her own children, she will look back at these practices and see them as valuable. How about a "Family Blackout" where cell phones, beepers (who knows if they'll exist), computer chips in the fingertips, mini computers, and all electronics are shut off for a said amount of family time. Maybe every night during dinner? I remember when I was about 16, I wrote a list in my journal: "Things I'll remember that my parents did that I hated." I wrote this list so that when I had children of my own, I would remember how "imposing" on my life they were, those beings...

Hey all - I totally used to leave with just a purse on my merry way to wherever. I thought I was organized in leaving yesterday. Mike couldn't get home on time for me to go out senza baby, so I packed her and all of her 100-items-per-hour-we'll-be-out in my very cute vibe and forgot my own purse. Of course this resulted in me being late. Ahh ... how your center of living changes with a sweet baby. The Dr said she is of the age (6 months) where she understands how to be manipulative, and that's why she's not sleeping through the night. Where on earth did she learn this from? Couldn't have been the 10 min of sesame street she watches per day, or the nice walks we go on to the park, or her totally fun mom. =) Somewhere ingrained is that human nature to defy, to act like we want so we get what we want- not what we need. At 6 months old! She can't even say a word or stand on her own two feet, but now knows how to manipulate. Oma said, I just have to be the boss. ...

Okay - So I am going back to work. Only part time though. The closed doors and windows opened in all the right places for me to go back to teaching Orchestra and directing Musical Theater at MNHS in January. By then Naomi will be about 1 year old, probably toddling about, and looking to be entertained. =) I guess this totally undoes my profile. Well, I am enjoying being with Naomi daily but also looking forward to planning a spring concert and lining hs students up to deliver Seussical the Musical in March. What a totally fun show! I can practically see the show happening before my eyes as I listen to the music. I guess I found a niche.

So, it is funny to me how so many successful adults do not appreciate how they were raised, and flee from their parents, both literally and communicatively. Aren't they now successful adults? Do they think they got there totally alone? I'm pretty sure that many parent's goal is to help their children become successful adults (for whatever definition they find success to have). I find it unsettling that our 5 month daughter now NEEDS us 24/7 and one day might flee from us. I guess that's not our main concern with parenting. I hope for her to be rooted in the Word of God and ambitious to achieve her personal best in whatever field(s) she chooses. I know to my in laws it appears that I am a hater of sports - if she excels in sports, that would be a field she chooses. Well, I don't really hate them, I just couldn't think of anything more boring to watch on TV and don't particularly have interest in the outcome. It's not really fun to feel mocked that I don...

We tried a new, earlier bedtime for Naomi last night. Seven seemed to be the buzz time we kept hearing from respected parents we know. She went to sleep until 8am! So, this led to a full evening of Mike and I getting to literally "hang out" together. I don't think I can remember the time when we last both had 5 hours together where we had to stay at the house. It was actually very enjoyable. Even though we just piddled the time away by getting sucked into "Take Home Nanny" and "John and Kate plus 8," it was nice to chime back and forth about our transitions, and of course, throw in a game of Cribbage. Yet again, there was another medical analogy that Mike related to us, thistime about my uneasyness of sticking with a budget. This stemmed from me not ever being used to having good stewardship over my finances. I was never in a hole, but I also never really kept track. The day to "keep track" has come. Mike brought up that this may be similar ...

Hello - As I just caught myself sifting through ads of who needs services fulfilled on craigslist, I realized I was filling my time with nothingness while trying to find things to fill my time with for compensation. Who knows why. I'm here relaxing after a nice afternoon BBQ at our church. Maybe it's free time that I'm not sure what to do with, however, I do enjoy this mellow out time while the baby's sleeping. So, speaking of compensation, I definately try to overcompensate for my husband's lax parenting style in public with this psychotic over protective mother parenting style. How embarassing! Last night we were out at Dave and Buster's with some single friends of ours from college. Yes, we brought our 4 1/2 month daughter along, figuring she'll sleep most of the time and we'll be home around 9 or 10, only a few hours past her bedtime. Heh heh . . . Yeah, we're young, we're cool, bringing our little baby out to some local hangout for ...

The swirls of thoughts I had planned on jotting down have escaped me. So, I'll tell you about the highlight of my week. My husband and I hired a babysitter and went out to a great Thai restaurant called Thai L'Elephant . What a great time to re-group and a nice chance to talk about what was going on with "us" as opposed to how many cute things Naomi did that day. Apparently , according to him, I was the one that kept bringing up subjects about the baby. My husband just finished his residency and has begun fellowship. Three years ago, we moved away from our families after being married a year, and he entered into an ivy-league no bs Residency program. He usually had 4-6 days off a month, and there were times that we were grateful for him coming home "early" from a 20 hr shift as opposed to a 30 hr one. As a nice contrast, now he is only working 7 weekends out of the whole year, and basically on a 7-5 schedule. I used to plan on him staying at the ho...