My Mom's Here

So did you see the movie 50 First Dates? It's where the adorable Drew Barrymore looses her daily memory and heartwarming and hilarious Adam Sandler reminds her everyday, makes a video to get her up to speed on her life, and patiently waits till she understands daily. Through light teasing and large love, he loves her, "I love you more than anyone could possibly love another person." Daily she confesses, "nothing beats a first kiss . . ." In the movie, she wakes up daily not knowing what's going on, and is reminded by video and gentle people around her where she is, who she is, and what happened. I am super quick to run to anxiety. My initial thought, when approached with many a situation, is worry. "Oh, no, what if?" is a frequent thought. I need a daily video, an army of loved ones, a team of angels to constantly remind me not to worry. Don't forget, Jo, God is in control! Not only is He in control, but, before the foundations of the ...

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So it was Tuesday, early morning. I drove into work with Mike so I could have a 6:45 am MRI of the Chest, which is proper protocol for diagnosing this possible Myasthenia Gravis. It was so nice to have a few minutes to just be together in the early morning during the drive in. The last 5 days or so have been peppered with visitors, the pager going off, and children getting up in the middle of the night. I went into to have the MRI of the Chest done, and I didn't really have the down time to wait and think, and ponder and pray. I actually liked that time before the MRI of the brain, last Saturday, but oh well. "I will fear no e- e- vil, for my God is wi -i-ith me, and if my God is wi-i-ith me, who then shall I fear? who then shall I fear?" was the song going through my head this time. It was ready to be tested. I had to stop by the employee pharmacy before leaving the hospital, and therefore had to go through the imaging rooms and "backstage" area of th...

So a lot has happened in a few days. Saturday afternoon, swallowing and chewing got a lot worse. Each time I ate, I could not speak well, and could not control my swallowing. I even felt like my face was plastered into a dumb smile during a party I went to, because I was not able to control my facial muscles and go from normal-face to smiling, back and forth. I kind of made it through the rest of Saturday barely eating, and drinking a few Ensure shakes. Sunday morning I was alone with two small children. If I choked now, I would have no way to call 911 and no way to get my two year old to do it. So I only drank Ensure shakes. Now, Mike was working in the hospital today, it was the last day of a 5 day call schedule from the Thanksgiving holiday. I called Mom. I explained everything that was going on, and how it was getting progressively worse to swallow each day. I told my mom it would definitely decrease my anxiety if she were here. We went back and forth with Mike and my pa...

About a month ago, in the evenings, I started to have difficulty articulating words. I always knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn't control the muscles to make the words sound right. I just ignored this for a while and started speaking less. However, the last week or so, this got recognizably worse. I was doing a great job hiding it, but now I started to sound really bizarre, and my husband, Mike, started to notice and show concern. This nightly got worse, turned into difficulty chewing, and the last few nights, I had trouble swallowing. I called a few choice neurologists, and the only appointments available were Dec 15 for one Doc and mid-February for the Doc we really wanted to see. So now begins the testing to get ready for the neurologist appointment. . . let's start with an MRI of the brain, last Saturday morning. 7 AM So it is a brisk morning. Walking from the car towards the hospital, slightly nervous where certain sounds drown out other sounds. I focus on the swi...

How wonderful. To be sitting on a small deck over a body of water. Refuge. Bugs and birds, wildlife seemingly chaotic yet perfectly ordered by the Creator to co-exict, procreate, untainted by our buildings. God-made protected from man-made. Free. Playschool. Children learn from their environment. Running accross a preserved water, through woods and under a blue sky, spotted with gentle moving clouds. 2-3 year olds. It's not about walking trails to get somewhere, but to check out the dried up itchy ball and hopping spider. How grateful am I that I have time to take my children with other moms, and invest thoroughly in their learning. A perfectly designed, grown, then fallen leaf just fell on my silly blackberry screen. Silly compared to this wondrous creation, and all therein. This crumpled fallen leaf carried far more strategic measures and order to have it exist than my blackberry. Ordered veins, once held life, functioned as food now functions as shelter, after growing from a ti...

What an exciting time, for me at least, to peek out the doors and windows into a wonderland. Job 37 gives some excellent insight into God's power: 5 God's voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding. 6 He says to the snow, 'Fall on the earth,' and to the rain shower, 'Be a mighty downpour.' 7 So that all men he has made may know his work, he stops every man from his labor. On February 6th we had about 28" of snow and today are sporting an extra 18-24". Our little town near Philly is now a great sign of God's power. Enjoy the video of our munchkin and the snow!