My Mom's Here

So did you see the movie 50 First Dates? It's where the adorable Drew Barrymore looses her daily memory and heartwarming and hilarious Adam Sandler reminds her everyday, makes a video to get her up to speed on her life, and patiently waits till she understands daily. Through light teasing and large love, he loves her, "I love you more than anyone could possibly love another person." Daily she confesses, "nothing beats a first kiss . . ." In the movie, she wakes up daily not knowing what's going on, and is reminded by video and gentle people around her where she is, who she is, and what happened. I am super quick to run to anxiety. My initial thought, when approached with many a situation, is worry. "Oh, no, what if?" is a frequent thought. I need a daily video, an army of loved ones, a team of angels to constantly remind me not to worry. Don't forget, Jo, God is in control! Not only is He in control, but, before the foundations of the ...

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So it was Tuesday, early morning. I drove into work with Mike so I could have a 6:45 am MRI of the Chest, which is proper protocol for diagnosing this possible Myasthenia Gravis. It was so nice to have a few minutes to just be together in the early morning during the drive in. The last 5 days or so have been peppered with visitors, the pager going off, and children getting up in the middle of the night. I went into to have the MRI of the Chest done, and I didn't really have the down time to wait and think, and ponder and pray. I actually liked that time before the MRI of the brain, last Saturday, but oh well. "I will fear no e- e- vil, for my God is wi -i-ith me, and if my God is wi-i-ith me, who then shall I fear? who then shall I fear?" was the song going through my head this time. It was ready to be tested. I had to stop by the employee pharmacy before leaving the hospital, and therefore had to go through the imaging rooms and "backstage" area of th...

So a lot has happened in a few days. Saturday afternoon, swallowing and chewing got a lot worse. Each time I ate, I could not speak well, and could not control my swallowing. I even felt like my face was plastered into a dumb smile during a party I went to, because I was not able to control my facial muscles and go from normal-face to smiling, back and forth. I kind of made it through the rest of Saturday barely eating, and drinking a few Ensure shakes. Sunday morning I was alone with two small children. If I choked now, I would have no way to call 911 and no way to get my two year old to do it. So I only drank Ensure shakes. Now, Mike was working in the hospital today, it was the last day of a 5 day call schedule from the Thanksgiving holiday. I called Mom. I explained everything that was going on, and how it was getting progressively worse to swallow each day. I told my mom it would definitely decrease my anxiety if she were here. We went back and forth with Mike and my pa...